#RelationshipGoals with Collin & Stacey Outerbridge, Joseph Torres, Anna Markham

Episode Transcript

FamilyLife Today® with Dave and Ann Wilson – Web Version Transcript

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#RelationshipGoals

Guests:Collin and Stacey Outerbridge, Joseph Torres, and Anna Markham

From the series:MWB Reaction (Day 1 of 2)

Air date:October 28, 2024

Collin:We have made a commitment to our wives to love them. We’ve made a commitment to serve them; and sometimes, that means sacrificing even what we might want, along that path and alongside that journey.

Shelby: Welcome to FamilyLife Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I’m Shelby Abbott, and your hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson. You can find us at FamilyLifeToday.com.

Ann: This is FamilyLife Today!

Dave:So we have an exciting day in the studio today.

Ann: It’s a unique day.

Dave:First thing is: we have more people in here than we’ve ever had. We have three couples, counting us. We’re going to talk about Married with Benefits® podcast that FamilyLife does and get some responses.

But before we go there, we got to let our listeners know who’s in the [studio]. We’ve got an engaged couple getting married in a hundred-plus days. Guys, tell our listeners who you are.

Joseph: My name’s Joseph Torres, and—

Anna:I’m Anna.

Dave:Anna, who?

Anna:Anna Markham.

Dave:Well, that’s an important name, here at FamilyLife, because your dad works for this place.

Ann: —and your mom.

Joseph: That’s true.

Dave: And sitting on the other side of the studio, Outerbridges; tell our listeners who you are.

Collin:Yeah, my name’s Collin; this is my wife, Stacey.

Stacey: Yeah, we’re so excited to be here. We have the privilege of leading a local church called Nona Church here in the Lake Nona community. And we have four beautiful children. We’re super excited to be here, around this table, getting to talk about how to engage in marriage and have a happy marriage.

Ann: And you guys have been married 15 years.

Stacey: Fifteen.

Collin: Fifteen years; that’s right.

Ann: High school sweethearts.

Stacey: Yes, yes.

Ann: So what are we doing today, Dave Wilson?

Dave:Well, I was just thinking, “We’ve got an engaged couple that knows nothing about marriage. They think they do.”

Ann: But they’re going to be amazing.

Dave: They’re going to be amazing.

Joseph: —God willing.

Dave: You guys [Outerbridges] know a lot about marriage; and then, you got 44 years married over here [Wilsons].

Today’s an interesting day. FamilyLife has a podcast called Married With Benefits with Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn. Shaunti’s a world-renowned author, a Harvard-trained researcher. All of her books are based on research—which I find fascinating—she interviews and tabulates results from couples. A book that she wrote years ago, Ann and I love, is called The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Couples, sort of a strange title. But she said: “I want to find the happiest, most satisfied couples in the country in the area of marriage. I want to study them and find out: ‘What did they do that makes them happy and satisfied?’”

Ann: And she goes the opposite way—I think a lot of us are looking at: “What did they do wrong?”—she’s looking at: “What are they doing right?”

Dave:So she had a survey, with thousands of couples, where she put them in a category: if the husband and the wife—and they didn’t know this—they didn’t do this together; they were separate; they didn’t know what their spouse was saying—if they both answered the question: “Are you satisfied and happy in your marriage?”—”Yes”; she put them in the top category as the best couples. Others, who said: “I love my marriage,”/”I really like my marriage, but I wouldn’t…”, they’re not in the category. So those are your couples.

Ann: And they both had to say, “I’m highly happy.”

Dave:Yeah; she calls them “highly-happy couples.” She says, ‘Okay, let’s study them and find out what their secrets are.” She came up with eight, and Brian and Shaunti have been talking about this on their podcast. By the way, if you haven’t seen this, it’s on YouTube; go there. Or listen to it on Spotify.

Ann: And this is Season Four, and this is Episode Three that we’re talking about.

Dave:And all that to get us to this: “One of the surprising secrets that she discovered is that little things in marriage are really, really big.” She got to the point where she could identify the most important top five for men—that are little; that are big—and then, women.

Today, we’re going to talk about the Fans/she calls it “The Fantastic Five for Men/for Husbands”: “What is it that if you do, as a wife, this lights up his life?” Alright, so we’re going to watch about ten minutes of Brian and Shaunti talking about this; and then, you, the experts—

Ann: —those who are with us at the table.

Dave: —are going to give us some feedback.

Collin: Oh, boy.

Dave: Yeah; so let’s watch Brian and Shaunti talk about this; and then, let’s talk about it.

[Previous Married with Benefits Podcast]

Brian:Hopefully, you’re listening to this, as a couple—you can be able to reach over and go: “That’s it for me,” “Yes; I love those,”—and just encourage each other as you’re listening to each one of these. So let’s talk about “The Fantastic Five for Her.” Shaunti, I want you to do those. I’m going to do the ones for the guys to do for his wife.

Shaunti: So these are the ones for your husband’s, ladies. And these are not going to be 100 percent; but in most cases, it was in that 75/80 percent range.

So the first, since it’s for a guy—what they’re concerned about is all about: “Am I doing the right thing for her?”—it’s about what I do: “Am I a good husband?” “Am I a good father?” Notice that effort, and say, “Thank you.” That was one of the things that was the big “Aha” moment, now, that has helped in a lot of books—a lot of research—to find that, for a man, the words, “Thank you,” are kind of the equivalent of a woman hearing, “I love you.”

Brian:Wow; just to notice, and to specifically say it, too? Or—

Shaunti: Yes!

Brian:—not just “Thank you”; don’t just say “Thank you,” all the time now. It’s like—

Shaunti: Well, it’s noticing—

Brian: —for something; yes.

Shaunti: —for something: “Thanks for changing the light bulbs. That was driving me absolutely nuts; thanks for doing that.”

Brian:And that doesn’t seem like a big deal; but for some of us guys, that is handyman work: “I did the light bulbs,” “Did anybody notice I changed the batteries in the smoke detectors?”

Shaunti: Exactly; “Did anybody notice?”

Brian: “I can handle that; yes.

Shaunti: Exactly; whatever—he did something with the kids: you were on a Zoom call; it was noisy; the kids were driving you crazy. He took them out in the yard to play catch or something to get them out of the house. “Thank you so much for doing that. That meant so much to me.” It may seem like a little thing, but it’s a really big one.

Brian:It makes a big difference. So that’s the first one: “Saying, ‘Thank you.’”

Shaunti: And the second one is then taking it to the next step, and saying: “And you did a really good job at that,” “I love how you are with the kids,” “I love how you have just the right mix, when little Johnny stumbled and hurt himself, that you had the—‘Oh, I’m so sorry; but get back up,’—just the right mix of the sympathy and the ‘Suck it up.’” And so saying, “You did a good job at that.” You may think he knows that; don’t assume that.

Brian:And you say this, in For Women Only, is that there is that little tinge of insecurity that every guy wakes up with: “Every morning, I wake up with: ‘Will anyone notice?’ “Do I matter?’ ‘Am I strong enough to do what I need to do during the day?’” And so when somebody actually notices that, and says, “You did a great job, doing that”—

Shaunti: “Great job.”

Brian: —it does/it puffs you up.

Shaunti: Yes; So then, the number-three thing is even the next level to that, which is to actually mention something that he did well in front of other people. If we’re talking 101; that is level 501, right?—that is, for a guy—he’ll be like—you say something in front of your girlfriends; you’re out to dinner with a couple other couples—and you’re like, “You know what? I was so over it with that Zoom call. I couldn’t hear myself think; I was worried about what my boss was thinking. And then, he took the kids; and he kept them, and he played with them.” He was so good about this one thing; and you’re saying this, in front of other people at the dinner; and he’s going, “Ah, yeah; whatever.” And inside, he’s like [heart pumping sounds]; inside, “This is a big deal.”

Tell me, if from a guy’s perspective—

Brian:I just think about how these build on each other: “Thank you,” “You did a great job of this,”—now, next level—”I’m going to brag about you in front of my friends.” Guys do feel that differently. And really it is/it makes a huge difference that it’s my spouse.

Shaunti: Yes!

Brian:And you would think that it wouldn’t; but it’s like I still think one of my chief goals in life is to make Jen happy and—

Shaunti: You and most other men.

Brian:—or just to catch her attention. It didn’t change, when I was playing basketball, when we were dating—and I was like, when she was by the court; in fact, my guys would be like, “We always hated when Jen would walk by the court, because that’s when you kind of took over,”—yeah, because I’m playing for an audience of one at that moment.

Shaunti: There you go; absolutely. Well, I think a lot of wives don’t realize how much their husband is playing for an audience of one.

What we have to confront—and I probably should put brackets around these things—and make sure that the women listening to this, with kind of maybe a skeptical, “Really?” is: “Remember, you’re thinking, ‘Oh, great; now, I’m stroking his ego,’ like, ‘Oh, I’m just making the monster worse.’” Here’s the thing: he doesn’t have an ego in the way you think about it, which is: “He’s so prideful; he’s so puffed up. He kind of needs to be taken down a peg or two.”

Brian:Yeah; “He’s narcissistic.”

Shaunti: —“narcissistic.”

Instead, what we found: the vast majority of men, statistically—depending on the survey, it was somewhere between 75 and 85 percent of men—actually, they don’t have that ego; they have a deep self-doubt. That is what is the issue. You’re not puffing up his head when you thank him sincerely/genuinely for something—and in front of others if it is something that matters—you’re not puffing up his head. You’re like giving him this great soothing sense of reassurance, as a husband.

Brian:You’re actually filling his soul. It’s like you’re not puffing up his head; you’re filling his soul when you brag.

Shaunti: It’s sort of the analogy that somebody told me the other day: “Picture a dry and thirsty land; and you’re giving them a little bit of water, a little bit of water, and a little bit of water.” And that’s the issue with these little things: pretty soon—that little bit of water every day—it’s not a dry and thirsty land anymore.

Brian:And it’s like every guy—probably, most guys—have a dream to be on SportsCenter; or if they like to build stuff, they build something. What’s the first thing they want to do?—they take a picture of it; they want to bring people over to the house. There’s something in us, as men—and I think it comes back to the image of God—the image of God in all of us is this sense of: “I want to be a creator,” “I want to add value,” “I want to do something to make the area around my life—my garden that God has given me—just a little bit better.” But there’s something in us, as men, that’s like: “Did anybody see that?” “Did anybody see that catch?” “Anybody see that thing that I just built?—that deck? Did anybody notice that?”

Shaunti: This is the perfect example of the curse. For what we’re made for, in the garden, is to be a creator. But the curse was: “I hate to tell you this, Adam; you are going to toil the land by the sweat of your brow. It’s going to feel like the thorns and the thistles are always going to be rising up against you. You are going to work, and you are going to work. You’re going to have effort; and you’re going to try, and you’re going to do. You’re always going to feel like, ‘I don’t know; am I getting there? It’s not quite…’” And so, ladies, this is just—it’s a thing—there’s an amazing opportunity here.

Okay; we should probably go on to—

Brian: Yes, let’s keep moving.

Shaunti: —four and five. So that was one, two, and three. Number four: I know some women were waiting for this one. And yes, this is a thing that—when a wife shows her husband she desires him, sexually, and that he pleases her in that way—there is something very, very important, down deep in the heart of a man, that speaks to and provides amazing reassurance.

Brian:Yeah, you’ve written about that a lot. It’s one of those things where—again, this isn’t one of those deals, where if you’re in a situation, where you’re in an abusive, especially sexually abusive—this is not the one that you’re wanting to then put into your life.

Shaunti: Well, in any of these, if you’re in that kind of a situation, the application is going to be completely different—because finding things to thank an abusive husband for—no, not going to go well.

Brian:Yes—but especially, that one—we just want to be clear on that. So that’s the first four there:

Notice his effort; say, “Thank you.”

“You did a great job…”

Brag in front of others.

Show that she desires him, sexually; that he pleases her.

What’s this last of “The Fantastic Five”?

Shaunti: So the last one is going to sound so simple; it’s just to “Show him that he makes you happy.” It’s so simple.

Brian:When does the guy feel that?

Shaunti: Okay, I asked this question of guys; because I kept hearing this. “What does that mean?—’I just want to make her happy,’ ‘I just want to make her happy.’” I think you just said that a few minutes ago:—

Brian: I did; I didn’t even realize that.

Shaunti: —”It’s one of my main purposes”; “I just want to make Jen happy.”

And we kept asking, “How does that get shown?” And of course, there’s many ways that that gets shown. But the key is, literally, if you seem content in your life—if he sees you smile—that is this.

I had one guy, who had gone through a difficult season in his marriage. One of the things that was a benefit about the research is we were looking at different categories; including: “What gets you from a place of difficulty to a place of really having a happy marriage?” We were asking him, “What was it that she did?”—because we asked each of them: “What was it that he did?” “What was it that she did?”—and this guy said, “It used to be that, when I would walk in the door, she would [say], “Hi,” “Yeah, okay,” “Hey, the thing needs to be cleaned up,” or whatever—just very transactional—whatever.

And he said, “And then, came the day—because we were both working on this—then came the day that I walked in; and she turned around, and just instinctively, I saw this big smile. It was like”—as he was telling me this, he started to cry. Actually, I could tell his eyes were getting a little bit red—and he’s like, “I’m so sorry! I don’t know where this emotion is coming from. But I knew that something had changed when it was clear that I made her happy.”

Brian:So good. Yeah, each one of those are small.

Shaunti: They’re little.

Brian: They’re little.

Shaunti: They’re little bitty things.

Brian: And they, often, may not come naturally. It is easy—when you’re both working and you come back—you just want to relax; or what’s on the front of your mind is just all the wrong things that are happening right now.

Shaunti: That’s so easy, yes.

Brian: And so you pull back from that, and go, “Okay, in this moment, how can I help him feel like he makes me happy, just by seeing him?” And when you do that again, and again, and again, it becomes more natural.

[Studio]

Dave:So let me ask you this: “What jumped out?”—any one of you go—“Did something jump out?”

Stacey: Yeah, I would say that last one really rung true with us. One of the things that we’ve learned is that, even in the midst of the afternoon hustle—before dinner is getting ready, and kids are doing homework; and everything is going on, at once, in the home, I have found that—if I will take a pause when I hear the garage door open, and I know that Collin’s coming in, to put down what I’m doing; to tell the kid, “Hang on; I’ll be back with you in a moment,” and be ready to greet him when he comes in the door with a smile on my face—genuinely expressing how excited I am to see him—man, I feel like it makes a world of difference in our home.

Collin:It lights up my day. It really does, yes.

Ann: Collin, you’re saying—and we’re talking about number five being that we make it clear to him that he makes her happy—so if Stacey meets you in the garage—you’ve had a hard day; she probably has, too; but when she meets you in the garage, it makes you feel—

Collin:It makes me feel home; it makes me feel secure. It makes me feel like the work that I spent doing, over the course of the day, is valued; and it matters.

I think that Shaunti’s onto something that there’s no doubt that the thing I care about most is whether or not Stacey’s happy or not. And when Stacey’s happy, I’m happy. When Stacey’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy. And so I think, in so many ways, her willingness to recognize the power that she has, and the influence she has on my wellbeing—and leveraging that to care for me and love me—is one of the great gifts that she gives.

Dave:Man; oh, man. Anna, are you taking notes?

Anna:Yes, absolutely! Whenever I asked Joseph which one stood out to him the most, he said it was number five as well. And just about, how for him, his ultimate desire is to make me happy. I know that right now, as an engaged couple, it definitely looks different; but then taking notes as to what it might look like whenever we do get married. I look forward to that and even getting to implement some of those things later on in life.

Ann: Well, it’s interesting; I talked to this woman—I know her and her husband well—they had moved from one end of the coast to the opposite end of the coast in the United States. The wife was miserable every day: she left her family/she left the family that she grew up with, her friends, her church—everything—for his job. And I remember asking him, “How’s it going?” And his first response wasn’t about the job; he said, “My wife is miserable.” I pulled her aside; and I said, “Do you know this is killing him that you’re miserable?”

I’m not saying you need to fake it; but what would you say to that wife, not understanding the power she carries, that she’s so sad or miserable? What would you say to her?

Collin:Well, the first thing I would say is, not to the wife, but to the husband. I think that our primary responsibility is to make sure that our [wife is] cared for, that [she feels] secure, and that [she has] what [she needs] to thrive and to flourish.

I think a huge commitment that Stacey and I have had is there’s not a thing in our life, especially when it comes to vocation, that she doesn’t have the right to be honest with me about/to share how she feels about it. I think there’s a degree of trust that every couple needs to work toward having; which is, if a wife believes that her husband will leave the thing he loves the most—enjoys the most or spent his life trying to pursue—for the sake of his wife and family, I think it will engender a kind of confidence that will allow her to know, “Hey, he’s going to pay attention; and no matter how good things are going outside of the home, if they’re not going well inside of the home, I trust that he has my back.”

And so my first comment would actually be to the husband in that situation and circumstance: “Hey, what can we do, as husbands and as men, to never put our wives in a position, where they feel like they have to fake it to make it; or they have to pretend like everything’s okay when it’s not?” And so that would be my comment, to the husband, is, “Hey, we have made a commitment to our wives to love them; we’ve made a commitment to serve them; and sometimes, that means sacrificing even what we might want, along that path and alongside that journey.”

I think it’s really a mutual submission kind of spirit here. If a husband has that kind of attitude, it probably has an effect on the wife’s ability to keep on enduring if she knows her husband has her best interest in mind.

Stacey: Yeah, I think that really speaks into that first one about expressing gratitude. So much of that is internal—and even when the external situation around us is hard; and sometimes, it’s part of marriage; we go through hard stuff—but when we’re looking for the qualities in our spouse that we’re grateful for, and we’re willing to express those, sometimes that internal awareness of our spouse really has an external impact on the way we view our circumstances.

Even if it was a really hard day at home—the kids were really fussy—or something hard is going on in my job, being aware that there’s this other person, on the other side of me, who is given it their all, they’re really trying their best to make me happy and having an attunement to say, “Hey, I’m going to express that gratitude.” I can’t say how many times where a simple: “Hey, I saw you did this…” “I saw you see me being tired, and you decided to pick up dinner on the way; you knew it’d bless me. I really appreciate that.” That goes so far—and it changes our internal awareness of what’s going on—and even, our perspective of what’s happening, even in the midst of hardship.

Ann: “But what if they don’t do anything?” “What if they’re not looking?” “What if you feel like—

Dave: I know what she’s talking about; she’s talking about our house.

Ann: No! I’m totally not talking about you; but I think there’s a lot of women, who say, “No, he doesn’t ever notice.”

Stacey: So it’s like, “What can you look for?” It’s like, “Can I have an eye for the things that he is doing right?” We can always find things that they’re not doing right; there’s always places we can all improve; but when we say, “Okay, I’m going to be intentional to look out for what is something,”—it could be small—”Hey, thank you for taking the trash out.” It starts small. I think, when we praise those things in our husbands, man, it’s like this self-perpetuating cycle that encourages them to be that man that they want to be. They want to be a great provider.

Dave:I could say, from the man’s side—we’re editing, right now, Ann’s book—and I just wrote this story yesterday in her book. We’ve shared it here before, but it’s just this simple: one time, as I sat down for dinner—and we had three younger boys; I think our oldest might’ve been middle school, maybe—Ann said, “Hey, before we eat, guys, I want to say something to Dad.” She turns to me, and she goes, “Hey, thanks. Thanks for working so hard; you’re salary provided this meal. Thanks for the hours you put in the sermon prep,”—blah, blah, blah. And literally, the boys are like, “Can we eat?” And all I know—this is so interesting—I’m looking at her say this; behind her—I am not making this up—on the kitchen hutch, four feet away, is Shaunti’s book,—

Ann: —For Women Only.

Dave:—which has a little bit of the same stuff in there; but it was about how important it is to your man that he feels appreciated. I know she’s doing what she just read—and it didn’t matter—my chest was popping out of my shirt; I’m like, “I am the man!”—I didn’t say any of that, but it felt so good.

And what Shaunti says: “Notice his effort; sincerely thank him for it,”— I can just say, on the man side of this; right guys?—it makes us sound like we’re the most insecure people in the world; but when you notice, and say something—even just a little “Thank you,”—it is a little thing that is big.

Ann: It’s powerful. We, women, have so much power we don’t even realize.

Let me ask you guys this, Joseph and Anna, when it talks about—“Mentions in front of other people that he did well,”—has Anna done that for you yet, Joseph?

Joseph: Yes, Anna has been one of the most-encouraging people for me. I could be insecure in a certain area, whether it’s at work or whether it’s the way I serve, she’s really helped me to grow. One example would be even at church; I did a senior sermon one time, and I got to speak in front of the whole youth group. I didn’t really feel like I was going to do a good job, at a certain point; but I was sharing all of what I was going to say with Anna. She was encouraging me on, like, “Hey, this is the way you should say this…” or “You’re doing a really good job.” Even hearing her say, “Wow, that sounds so good”; I was like, “Are you pumping on my chest?” I was pumping on my chest; I was like, “Wow, I think I did do a good job.” But it was all that I needed to hear; and it prepared me even, going into that. It really did.

Anna:And I think even, whenever I heard that, it made me stop and think about: “How, maybe, I should even incorporate that more often than I do.” Because something that I was talking with Joseph about, whenever we were thinking about that point, was just, “I do that so often.” But whenever he’s not there, I do that with my friends—I’ll talk about him, and express things that I’m so grateful about for him—but then, maybe when he’s there, I don’t think about really saying it as much to other people.

And so I even found that really interesting; because I do that with other relationships, whether it’s friendships or my family. And then, just even thinking about that, and trying to be more intentional in saying those kinds of things; but in front of him—because he didn’t realize how much I actually do it—because he doesn’t see it.

Dave:Tomorrow, we get to talk about “The Fantastic Five for Her.” But I would say this, “Stacey, I’m shocked that you said you stop, and you go out when Collin’s coming home.”

Ann: I’m so convicted by that, especially, when our kids were younger.

Dave:Part of me wants to go, “Really? Do you really do that?” And I know you do; I mean, Collin’s sitting right here. He wasn’t rolling his eyes.

Collin:Well, I’ll tell you this: I am excited about coming home every day because I know the first thing I’m going to experience is the smile of Stacey. It can be good days or bad days; but if she’s there, I’ve got what I need.

Stacey: Can I add one? Because I feel like we maybe skipped over this one, but I think it’s really important. Oftentimes, what will proceed that welcome before he gets home is a text message that’s like, “Hey, I’m thinking about you; and when the kids go to bed, I’m really excited to be with you.” Man, I mean, that goes a long way, during the middle of the day—when he’s in meetings that are long, and he’s dealing with a lot of stuff—to know that, not only am I excited to see him; but I’m excited to see him. You know what I mean? So I think that’s huge.

Ann: Yeah, because you want him.

Stacey: I want him, right! That’s a huge one. And I mean, that’s something we’ve learned in our marriage, that expression.

Ann: Okay; yes, say this to the wives—my partners, like friends—”Here we go: think about how simple that was. Maybe you don’t even go out in the garage; but when he comes in the door, you go to the door and you smile when he walks in the door like you’re happy to see him. We can do that; we can do that.

Dave:I mean, you talk about application from today; and I’ll just add this last thought, which I think is true; this is just my opinion. I think what a lot of us don’t understand—especially, women—is that we, men, are still little boys. We have a man shell; but underneath, a little boy is saying, “Mom, do you see me?” It’s still there; it’s like, “Honey, did you see?” “Does anybody notice?”

When we hear a “Thank you,” or a praise in front of other people, I don’t think women understand what happens to a soul of a man is: we do come alive. If you want to keep your man, that’s going to keep your man—he’s not going to work too much—he is coming home to that because that is a little thing that is huge.

Ann: And a little text message, during the middle of the day, that can go a long way, too.

Stacey: Yeah, absolutely.

Dave: —both ways—we’re going to talk about women tomorrow.

Shelby: Yeah; so today, we’ve heard a few ways a wife can encourage her husband; but tomorrow, will be the other half of this conversation about what a husband can do to encourage his wife. So this is only part of it today. I hope this has been an enlightening time for you, and helpful as well, to implement these things into your marriage and see what the Lord does.

I’m Shelby Abbott; and you’ve been listening to Dave and Ann Wilson, with two different couples, on FamilyLife Today. Now, if you wanted to hear more of the conversation that they listened to, in part, today on the episode, be sure to watch the complete Season Four of Married with Benefits, which is part of the FamilyLife network of podcasts. Married with Benefits is hosted by Brian Goins and Shaunti Feldhahn. And this particular series, the title of it is called “Highly-Happy Couples Know Less is More.” You can get it wherever you get your podcasts; or just head over to YouTube. You’ll find a link in our show notes at FamilyLifeToday.com.

We’re approaching the end of this month, and the beginning of next month marks a lot going on in this country. Maybe, you’re tired of the tension and division that exists in, maybe, your family gatherings or on social media; or maybe, even around your own kitchen table. Psalm 1:33 tells us that it’s good for believers to live in unity with one another, but how do we do that in today’s easily-angered and often-offended culture?

Well, I’m excited to invite you to join us for a five-week video series from our friend—author and comedian—Amberly Neese. FamilyLife has partnered with Amberly to create this video series called “Moving Toward Each Other in the Middle of a Divisive World.” Amberly guides you through how to build peace in your own backyard, so to speak, when there’s differing thoughts, and opinions, and beliefs that threaten to create division amongst you and other people.

You could sign up to get this five-week video series by going to the show notes or logging on to FamilyLife.com/FindingCommonGround. Again, you can check it out in the show notes—there’s a link there—or FamilyLife.com/FindingCommonGround.

Now, coming up tomorrow, the Outerbridges are back, with Joseph and Anna, to talk a little bit more about the other half of this conversation, which includes how husbands can encourage their wives: more essential ways to build your marriage. That’s coming up tomorrow; we hope you’ll join us. On behalf of Dave and Ann Wilson, I’m Shelby Abbott. We’ll see you back next time for another edition of FamilyLife Today.

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